The Real Housewife with Real Dance Skills

Poor Ramona from ‘The Real Housewives of New York’. She kindly donates her time to walk in fellow housewife Alex’s ‘Brooklyn fashion show’, and no one has stopped making fun of her since.

It’s sort of understandable- as mean-girl/housewife Jill kindly points out, “her neck is jutting out like a giraffe and her eyes are bulging”. She sort of looks like she’s trying to balance an invisible book on her head, which unnaturally never moves, while still attempting to sexily strut down the catwalk. I said unnatural and I meant it. When walking, the pelvis and hips are supposed to tip vertically.  One hip shoudl appear higher than the other (usually, if you are stepping onto your right leg, shifting your weight from your left leg will cause the right hip to lift.) Ramona however, has no natural swing or tip in her hips, rather a robotic shuffling.  Maybe the thing to blame is the dress, which looks uncomfortably tight is limiting her movement. The worst thing about her walk was the crazy eye. Maybe it’s the  too-tight dress (sausage casing) that she looks like she’s about to explode out of that is making her eyeballs instead bear the brunt of the pressure. Either that or she’s trying really hard to suck it in and is holding her breath. Somewhere along the line, she forgot the basic motor skills most of learn around the age of one. I guess her physical body is finally matching her maturity level.

Then I recognized a classic dance trick. Dancers accomplish multiple turns without getting dizzy by choosing a spot to focus on, and keeping their gaze fixed on that for as long as possible in a rotation. This is called, ‘spotting’.  It makes it possible to let the body go wild from the neck down while maintaining balance.

I think Ramona was clearly employing this classic technique, anticipating doing her ‘little turn on the catwalk’. She could have just maybe waited until she reached the end of the runway.

(copy/paste this link to watch- enjoy the death-stare!)

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