May 14th horoscopes- what dancers do when they aren’t dancing

May 14th horoscopes

I am about to go take ballet class at Ailey, and I haven’t been in class for about….4 moths. This is going to be painful and embarrassing.¬† Why did I stay away for so long!?

My love for ballet is as dead as I am in this picture!

I suppose I was feeling pretty burnt out after my last company experience with ballet and I wasn’t sure if it was the entire art form that was leaving me high and dry. (I don’t think it was anymore) This week’s horoscopes are dedicated to what job you’ll take when you are a QUITTER!

Contemporary Ballet Dancers – Your movement style is especially creative and you use your creativity in your thinking as a lawyer. way to outsmart the prosecution!

Musical Theater Dancers – There is nothing like the thrill of performing to you, so even if you aren’t on a stage, you put your theatrics to good use as a sign waver on the street. At least the work is steady!

Up in the club- You are tired of gross gross people attempting to touch you. You go a 180 and become a nun.

Classical Ballet Dancer-You use your detail-oriented mind to either become a neurosurgeon or a flower-arranger.

Tap Dancer Mom- You are tired of the noise! You become a librarian.

Hip Hop Dancer- You have had your fill of people, performing in packed amphitheaters for years on end. You work now as a gardener or a cat sitter.

Competition Dancer- You may have given up dancing but you’ll never be sick of sequins! You become a costume seamstress for male figure skaters.

Modern Dancer- Your bare feet have taken enough of a beating. now you want shoes shoes shoes! You work at Macy’s.

Ballroom Dancer- You use your great understanding of what it takes to make a partnership work in your couples counseling practice.

Student of Dance- You find that without so much rehearsal, you have time to finish your homework! You even have time to ‘help’ others. You start charging your classmates to write their papers for them.

Jazz Dancer- You never want to wear fishnets again! You are sick of the dark, edgy, sexual deviant stylings of Bob Fosse! You make a clean sweep in your career driving a zamboni machine and clearing the ice at the Rockefeller Park ice rink.

Non-Dancer- you never know what you missed and still go about telling REAL dancers that you ‘used to dance’, even if that means a few bad ballet lessons at a¬†terrible studio when you were eight

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2 thoughts on “May 14th horoscopes- what dancers do when they aren’t dancing

  1. I think what is more to the truth is: “you search for a job that offers adequate health benefits so you can hopefully afford to have the injuries of your dancing career diagnosed and treated. If you cannot find such a job, then you go to college to pursue a career in health care in hopes that you can fix yourself.”

  2. Or you self-diagnose with the help of web md, or do what I do- denial! The ripped cartilage in my hip sockets will clear up in less time than my sinus infection that I can’t get antibiotics for, and I’ll just walk of the knee pain on my blood-poisoned feet which I stopped receiving medical attention for when doctor visits weren’t covered on my health insurance plan

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