You Get what’s Coming to You Eventually

I did not get to see the Tonys this past weekend, but it hardly matters since I haven’t seen anything nominated so I had very little stake in them. And I am still recovering from the horror I felt when the three Billy Elliot kids won best actor over my beloved Gavin Creel, the title role in ‘Hair’, which I saw last year. I also saw/ fell in love with Gavin in 2006 when I saw him as Jimmy in ‘Thoroughly Modern Millie’ which I believe he was either nominated or won a Tony for. I saw Billy Elliot as well, and I saw the blonde kid who’s supposed to be the best, and I was AMAZED at his dancing. He outdanced the older Billy, who is a New York City Ballet dancer, but I don’t remember who. However, his acting was a bit stale and his singing only tolerable. Since when does the wonder of youth trump a stellar performance? Of course Creel was supported by an amazing ensemble. I remember pegging this very pretty brunette as the ‘hot girl’ int he cast who must have been good, but really only cast for her look. I figured I could be her, no problem. She finally had a few solo lines in the song ‘Black Boys’ and dissolved my stupid assumption faster than Ali’s stardom will (hopefully) last. This girl who was just ensemble had such an incredible voice, as did every single person in the cast. Where is her oscar? I hope she gets a breakout role soon- she deserves it.

I am thoroughly horrified by the list of movie/ tv actors on the tony list this year. Kelsey Grammer and Nathan Lane don’t count, I consider them credible performers. Even Catherin Zeta has an ok, even if she did marry Michael Douglas, which I will never forgive her for. But Denzel? Scarlett Johanson? Can’t they stick to the silver screen and rely on their nice looks and leave the theater to the people who work so so sooo hard to get there?

I get the appeal, people want to see celebrities. When I was in London with my family and we were choosing shows to see, I kept pushing for some play that didn’t get spectacular reviews that the actress who plays Mrs. Weasley in the Harry Potter movies was in (We didn’t see it). I think there are some people out there who would even go to shows where a celebrity gets bashed for a poor performance simply to see someone famous stinking on stage (like how we all love talking about the bad ones ‘Dancing with the stars’- see earlier posts for more on that topic). I hate how much celebrities are creeping into/ crossing over worlds of art.

In either dance or Pointe, there was a feature on an ABT dancer who designs leotards. Somehow the cross over of a dancer designing dancewear is perfectly acceptable to me, while the preview for Emily Blunt (Hollywood actress from Devil wears Prada and the complete flop, ‘the Wolfman’- thanks Katie for suggesting that one!) who will star in a new movie where she is supposed to be a dancer with the AMAZING Cedar Lake Contemporary Dance Company is not ok by me. Reading the article, she apparently practiced for months..wow, I’m so impressed miss Blunt. I’ve been practicing about 20 years and I wouldn’t even bother auditioning for that company. What is going on with the world of performing arts? I think if theater and dance are being celebrity-raped then music needs it’s fair share as well. How about we bring in Jimmy Kimmel to plink down a note or two on the piano with the London Philharmonic, let’s allow Rachel Ray and Paula Dean to blast out a brief operetic duet at the Met, and have Betty White bang it out with the exclusive Kodo Taiko drummers (actually I’d probably go see that).

The arts are exclusive for a reason- please, everyone come sit in the audience, but get on stage- over and instead of people (no-names at this point) with credible talent and years of hard work? Go back to Hills, Hollywood celebs, and tell the lackluster reality stars to crawl back to the seats where they belong, and put the Tonys in the hands of those who deserve them. Tony sounds like an Italian name to me, so if the corruption doesn’t end, I’m going to start corrupting the name of the ceremony and award as well- how do you cheapen the tonys? I think I’ll call them the fast-food version of Italian cuisine-

Thanks Broadway for the nice shiny Fazoli.

Of course, I say this and one of my favorite NY moments was at the end of seeing ‘Hair’ when I along with the other attention-crazed members of the audience, got up on stage after the curtain call to dance and sing with cast. So I’m as bad as the rest. I just hope if I’m ever onstage during the real show, that I will have EARNED my spot through talent, not ticket-selling ability.

2 thoughts on “You Get what’s Coming to You Eventually

  1. Firstly Emily Blunt is not a celebrity. Seriously, who the hell is Emily Blunt? She is just another actress, and since I don’t even know who she is, her presence in a movie about dance can hardly be considered celebrity-raping. (As a completely random side note, I looked her up in the bible of movies, aka http://www.imdb.com, to see who she is and i found that she is going to be the voice of Juliet in a film called “Gnomeo and Juliet. According to the site, this is going to be “a version of Shakespeare’s play, set in the world of warring indoor and outdoor gnomes.” Wow! I wonder if they are living inside or outside of slaurent’s calf)

    Anyway, this movie about Cedar Lake is foremost just that, a movie. So shouldn’t a movie actor star in the movie? Aren’t movie actors still allowed to portray police officers and astronauts? I mean what is an actor really…A faker! There job is to pretend to be other people/things for our enjoyment. Even if they suck at portraying dancers, it is still entertaining and in their job description to be allowed to try. If they only casted the real deal for roles in movies it wouldn’t be entertainment, it would be life. And wouldn’t that be difficult for period films…like they’d have to dig up the corpse of Queen Elizabeth because it would be improper to allow an actress to portray her.

    I almost think it is less okay for dancers to perform poorly in movies. It is none of their business to be in movies, and I personally thought that Ethan what’s-his-face sucked big time in Center Stage. And there is no excuse for them to suck, how hard can it be to fake your own life? But if I want to see dancing then I should rent a filmed ballet or go to a dance company’s performance, not watch Center Stage or the like.

    Another random side note: I don’t know if you saw the sequel Center Stage: Turn It Up (which is agonizing btw) but the girl who starred in that monstrosity trained as a break dancer (so therefore can technically be considered a dancer) but she was worse than Julie Stiles at ballet and was miserable at acting. Still, had they casted someone good at ballet, the break dancing parts would have been horrific (as displayed by Ethan in that same film).

    Moreover, Broadway itself is a pit of genre-bestiality. What is broadway? Is it acting? Dancing? Singing? No, it is the island of misfit people who like to be center of attention, and they are hired all for the sole purpose of ticket sales. Sorry, but broadway is art in the same way that disney on ice is art. It really isn’t. It is entertainment. A celebrity in a broadway show just adds to the money making of the whole entertainment thing. If you want to see underdogs instead of celebrities, support your local community theatre. But then again, maybe they are raping the arts too because they aren’t professionals or because they are sometimes really bad.

    I think that what is really happening is that art is forcing its way back into entertainment. Art is raping celebrity in a sense. Art is showing up in movies and is trying to make a stand in the world of television. We can’t say that celebrity is corrupting the arts until a ballet company hires tom cruise, an opera casts halle berry and an art museum displays paintings and sculptures created by the jolie-pit children.

    I digress. Oh wait, no, I never had a real point in the first place. This has all been but a rambling of nonsense. But seriously even if what you say is true, that celebrity is raping the arts, then perhaps it is for the best because it brings art to the forefront to be exposed to brain-dead america. Whether it is good or bad hardly matters, art is art and any exposure is good exposure.

    P.S. I have changed my name to Aaron A. Aardvark because according to my love, John Stewart, this name’s position in “alphabetical order’ will help me to become elected into government. Vote for the first person listed on the ballot!!

    P.S.S. You need to stop watching shit like the Bachelor. Filth like that is raping your mind, which is far worse than Scarlett Joheniouson or a couple of dancing tots winning a Tony.

  2. Pingback: The Internet Hates Texas Tech Cheerleader for posting pictures of Dead, Endangered Ballerinas she’s Killed | BODIES NEVER LIE

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