Moment. Moment. Moment. Another day goes by.
Want to know the first thing I did this morning?
Plies. The first thing you do in a ballet class. The exact same order that I did almost every day of last season, the same way that honestly bored me to tears. Demi Demi Grande, port de bras. 2nd, 4th 5th, balance in sousou.
I am finding comfort in strange things.
I also had to go through old pictures today to make stuff for the memorial service tomorrow, and I also saw tons of the cards and gifts and terrible terrible drawings that I’ve made for my Dad over the years that he has, in true sentimental hoarder fashion (that must be where I get it) kept in his bedside bureau.
Man, was I a weird kid. I used to write him random letters on the computer and then change the font to something like wingdings and then give him an alphabetic key/code to ‘solve the secret message. oooooooo…….’
They usually said something like Hi, How are you, I’m working hard in school (lie). But there is one that I signed ‘Jessica Cat Ruhlin’ which in case you were wondering is NOT my middle name, and another where I wrote at the PS: ”
Meow Meow Meow. haha. ”
What an intelligent wit I possess.
And the obsession with cats continues. Besides plies I take comfort in other unlikely sources. Like youtube videos of talking cats, or cute cats, or hilarious people talking about cats:
The crazy cat lady as ever. My poor 3-year-old cat Avery has been subjected to all kinds of
horrifying adorable baby talk and unwanted affection. I say unlikely at the moment because she scratched the hell out of my right arm in the middle of my inner forearm. I know I’m not exactly a pillar of strength at the moment but methinks some people might worry that I’m even worse off than I really am when they see a big bloody line down my vein at tomorrow’s service.
No matter. We are supposed to appreciate the small joys in life- especially the small, furry, eight-pounds-of-claws-and-love joys.
And you can quote me on that. Cite it from Jessica Cat Ruhlin.