I had a realization today that if I were still dancing full-time in a ballet company, I would undoubtedly be knee-deep in rehearsals for ‘The Nutcracker’
(how new and exciting!) which can only mean one thing:
Waltz of the Flowers.
There is nothing I hate more than waltz of the flowers. I mean, not the Disney Fantasia version where it’s a bunch of fairies magic-ing glitter onto flora through the seasons. That’s lovely and Technicolor and sparkly. And I do admit to loving the music, but not so much as one girl who went to Butler with me who shall remain nameless
Eve Marie who had it as her ringtone. All year.
No, I’m talking about the awful fru-fruness that is the second act divertissment in the ‘kingdom of the sweets’.
Problem number one: flowers aren’t sweets. This makes no sense. Why are they there?
Didn’t you hear, Sugar Plum, non-edible garnishes are so out in the foodie world. Top Chef Just Desserts says so.
I hate it mostly because I have, in every production in which I have danced this role, hated dancing it. And in most productions that I see, I imagine I’d hate doing it. Has anyone seen the Joffrey Ballet of Chicago’s version? Oh my gosh, those poor poor girls! I remember one particularly excruciating looking series of slow grand jetes, changing directions, and those dresses looked quite heavy too. Good thing the Joffrey dancers are usually amazing, if it was me, I’d be a wilting rose for sure. Or I’d just quit. Oh wait, I kind of did.
Actually, if it were up to me, we’d do with the waltz of the flowers what I have been doing with all of the dying flowers all over my house that people have sent- which is chucking them in the bin.
If only people had sent edible arrangements instead. Like those big fruit baskets that are cut out to look like flowers. That would also be more fitting for the Kingdom of the Sweets in the Nutcracker. And all of the ‘flowers’ could be dressed like the Chiquita Banana girl, or the ever-famous Josephine Baker and her even-more-famous Banana skirt.