Guessing Julie Kent’s email address and youtube history

My computer is running slow and is doubtless as filled with spam as an overweight midwestern hillbilly toddler. (Basically me at age 2. Did I ever mention that my Mom craved HOT DOGS whilst pregnant with this here balleri-no? Hot Dogs. One of the top five cancer causing foods) 

I will not be taking it to any Geek squader because a) they fix nothing b) they charge a million dollars while holding my computer hostage behind their employee-only desk c) they always yell at me for the amount of food crumbs stuck in my keyboard.

And I can only imagine what they’d say upon looking at my Youtube History. It looks something like this:

Nederlands Ballet Theatre- Petit Mort followed by some dirty-talking olive-oil smoking hot Nigella Lawson cooking videos  (mature content!) followed by an interview with Mark Morris  (can you count how many times he sings, ‘lalalala!’ geez, I love him!) followed by a lecture on neuroscience and emotions followed by some kind of animal video (He’s a very loving cat….right) followed by Petit Mort…thirty something more times. I may have fallen asleep to it on repeat once before. I admit nothing. Ok, it was twice that this happened.

Sleeping Beauty- Julie Kent and Giullaume Graffin -1997

Sleeping Beauty- Julie Kent and Giullaume Graffin -1997

With yet another snow day, I could spend the day smothered in hyperlinks but I’m instead dealing with all manner of plans for my summer trip to New York in June. Ideally, while I’m there I would love love looooove a chance to meet with someone, anyone from Dance or Pointe or Dance Teacher Magazine and show them a few ( or a million) of my ideas and samples. I think it’s high time for a midwestern contributor let alone my other many brilliant pitches. Trouble is, I don’t know who to contact to even shove my unwanted face and portfolio in their inbox. I am manifesting that I will have a meeting set up before June and if anyone has a contact suggestion, please send it my way.

Too bad I don’t just have Julie Kent’s email address. I bet she’d tell Miss Wendy Perron to peer into my vast knowledge of the current dance scene. What do you think her email address even is? I bet it’s one of these:

224evagirl@yahoo.com

nottooold@sbcglobal.net

damnitCooperwe’reactors@google.net (if you don’t immediately recognize this jewel of dialogue I don’t even know what you’re doing at this blog)

wontworkforfood@att.com

Pirouette79@gmail.com (79, her age and coincidently, her weight..so it’s easy to remember)

Julie as Giselle- 1992

Julie as Giselle- 1992

I’m just kidding, I love Julie Kent. I actually met her for a hot second in Chautauqua at their summer Dance Festival but I am sunburned to a crisp in the photo and won’t be sharing it. Respect my privacy!

This kind of brain meandering is what happens when I have a snowday and try to stay away from youtube- these kind of hair-brained schemes. I also had this lightbulb of ingenuity:

Let’s get a brewmaster together with a lime farmer and make…ta-daaa Bud Light Limes! When you squeeze them, beer comes out. It’s a very very good idea if you have a penchant for very bad beverages.

Genius, no? If you want to go in with me on this grand investment, just email me. jesshasproblems@googlyeyes.com

IMG_8451

Reach for your dreams! JK with Vladimir Malakhov in Romeo and Juliet 1996

Reach for your dreams! JK with Vladimir Malakhov in Romeo and Juliet 1996

One thought on “Guessing Julie Kent’s email address and youtube history

  1. Pingback: NDEO Conference in Washington D.C. | BODIES NEVER LIE

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