Best Tip Ever: How to ballet

“When the pupil is ready, the master will appear”

Halloween 2006- impersonating Dance Faculty

Oh yeah?  if that’s so true, then where was Julia Child the last time I attempted to make pancakes (and tried to melt the butter in a bowl that already had an egg in it)?

Welcome to Jessica cafe- serving up regular, chocolate chip, blueberry, and microwaved chunky yolk pancakes! What an innnnnnnnteresting texture! Absolutely foul.

Apparently there’s a certain order to do things, and if you mess it up, there are no short cuts to setting things right.

I think this Buddhist proverb  has less to do with people morphing into our lives to guide us to health, happiness, success, and more to do with knowing our own goals and the best ways to achieve them. But I don’t know…I won’t waffle on anymore about it for the moment- my waffling is no better than my pancakes, or any breakfast goods for that matter.

You know what would be fun, ad American themed- The ‘Doughnut Cracker’–  It would be a one-act ballet in which someone in a Homer Simpson costume sits onstage eating stale doughnuts to Tchaikovsky’s score.

mini cupcakes in New York

Anyways, a big thanks to everyone who took the time to partake in the survey I posted. I found it enlightening, helpful, and above all hilarious.  Here are some of my favorite answers:

Question: What is the best/ worst health advice you’ve received:

There was a lot of bogus diet advice, like taking up smoking, or only eating things of a certain color, or never eating off the ground. Who hasn’t heard of the 5-second rule? A lot of people mentioned drinking water and getting rest as the best advice, so maybe I’ll just have to give those a go! (Sleep is good for you? Who knew!?)

Best: Your brain is a muscle too

Worst: You’re not skinny enough. I need to see more bones in your chest.”,It’ll probably be gone by morning, and ‘drink until she’s pretty’. Whoever put ‘eat’ as both best and worst…welcome to the love/hate relationship of indulgence vs. abstinence, of Dionysus vs. Apollo. it’s like having a cheese-dipped Mario Batalli on one shoulder and a grumpy Bob Harper from the Biggest loser ont he other. I’d rather have Bob’s voice in my head and Mario’s food on my plate..and whoever said ‘everything in moderation’ at the table with me.

The Pope says, ‘Blessed are the Cheese-Makers” (Kim, TIm, Kevin, Emily, ME, Kaitlyn, Erin, Sarah, and John)

I loved the amount of dance and music Youtube videos the Bodies Never Lie readers are watching– you made me check some out as well; freaky pirouettes, choreography by Jessica Lang, Alina Cojacaru… So for the sheer delight of the title and because it stood out amongst art-related videos, I liked ‘A Crow Snowtubing Down A Roof (I bet this was Jimmy)

I was really touched by the confession of everyone’s favorite post. These were pretty varied. Thank you so much for taking the time to sort through the memories and pick out some high points for me and thanks for being there with me as I wrote about the low points.

Question: If someone handed you $5,000, what would you do with it?

My favorite answers: 1. Coke and quality call girls. Or books (who wrote that!? haha) 2. Buy new shins- (I’m guessing that was Tim) 3. Ask them why they gave it to me

How much for new shins? I’m buying

So many wisely said save! Good for you! To the persons who said they would use it to either buy out sephora or go to New Zealand, I hope you take me with you.

And to round it out, here’s some advice I really like:

“”Stay Centered without losing Your Shorts“-

 Muriel Barbery from ‘The Elegance of the Hedgehog’

 

 

3 thoughts on “Best Tip Ever: How to ballet

  1. I didn’t know that you broke both of them! At the same time?! Yikes. I guess the ‘my lab’ portion of your answer should have been a clue! I just assumed it was someone being funny, alluding to a secret lab where they’re concocting potions for Shrek 5.

    • Yup! Broke them both, but actually not at the same time! And ya, my lab may have been a clue, but I would totally rather have a secret lab making potions, but probably for Harry Potter rather than Shrek. Omg, I could be the potions master! New life goal: challenge accepted

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