Mosh Pit Ballerina

Oh, you’re not at the mall today? Good. Me neither. I’ve had enough of that Black Swan Friday Madness.

I instead, slept in and woke to an email asking for my review on a recent performance. Ok ok, it was a generic ‘ticketmaster please review your seats and the show’ kind of thing from a concert I attended last weekend at the Pageant in St. Louis. Hooray, someone wants my humble opinion!? Nope, they just want further dollars. Owell. You can bet I still wrote a ‘review’ of sorts. My you-know-what and one of his groups, The Feed, opened with the Funky Butt Brass Band for the Urge.

stolen facebook shot of The Feed plus stock photo of The Urge

I just know that you all have heard of The Urge. They’ve been playing over a decade, or maybe two. I first saw them when I was a freshmen in college visiting friends in Columbia, Missouri back in 2009. (Oh my, I am old) I will never forget it- it was my first experience ever in a mosh pit. And you can bet that they inspired all the punked-out kids to head to the dance floor and jump all over everyone’s feet last weekend too.

I will be the first to admit that I do not understand or like this form of…dancing. I personally do not like to be shoved or stepped on or trampled while trying to enjoy a show. I prefer to be treated like the fragile piece o’ porcelain that I am while rocking out.

John (professional dancer with Thodos Dance Chicago) and I getting hectic

A mosh pit- controlled violence. Totally acceptable to ‘accidentally’ elbow someone in the face. There are apparently different versions of mosh pits for each and every occasion:

1.)Closed Pit: Tight, hard to move and hard to breathe. A closed pit will usually happen during popular heavy songs like Slipknot

Alvin Ailey Moshers

2. Open Pit: Generally the worst/best you can pick a target and reach them, throw them across the floor punch them, barge them. There’s enough room to just dive about punching everyone still causing little offence (Do be prepared to be hit back…a lot)
songs that will get open pits are the less popular but heavy ones

West SIde Story Moshers

3.Circle Pit: The larger or stronger Moshers or Metal heads will run around in an empty circle punching those on the outside of the circle and pushing the runner in front until he either leaves or falls to be trodden on. .

Ancient Fertility Dance moshers

4. Slam-dancing Pits: Created by “Wooble” of Wolverhmapton fame. One hand will be behind back at all times (usually holding your beer) and the other one will be swinging side to side, whaloping other slam-dancers and headbanging to yourself.

5. Piss-take Pits: Metal heads will enjoy poking fun at the emo music by doe-see-doeing and linking arms and swinging happily

What would you call the pit at a classical symphony? A mosh pitch.

What would you call the pit and a gay nightclub? A mesh pit.

What would you call a mosh pit at a ballet? You wouldn’t. You would call security.

I completely respect everyone’s right to move their body the way they want when inspired by music, unless you move right into mine with the force of a sweaty-overweight-thirty-something-year-old-man-that-couild-really-use-some-deodorant.

I actually don’t understand why putting yourself in danger and harming others contributes to enjoying music. I do understand the desire to move exuberantly during a concert. I guess I just prefer a dance floor, not a pit. Another good reason to avoid black friday madness. Enjoy the ‘mosh pit of ballet’- the deadly circle of vengeful willis from Act 2 of Giselle. I guess I am a mosher of sorts after all. Not familiar with Giselle (sacriledge! My favorite Ballet!)? Check out this detailed description from the ever-beautiful blog ‘The Ballet Bag’.

What kind of pit would you call this one?